To borrow a line from Shakespeare, “Methinks thou doth protest too much.” This is a message to the entitled, whiny brats that are protesting on college campuses across the nation. So much to write and so little space to post. From U. of Columbia to NYU to City College of New York; from UCLA and USC to Florida and Texas – protesting has become the rage of the enraged. Led by uneducated morons attempting to earn some kind of “street cred” with the woke crowd.
Look, I’m not offended. I’m just pissed that these prancing nambi-pambies are so dense to the ways of the world! Idiots! These ass-hats, who likely flunked toilet training, are allegedly attending college to earn a degree, instead, they’re playing dress-up and orchestrating a cacophony of nonsensical crapola.
Let’s face it. Many of those participating in these protests are entitled, trust-fund babies, or misgendered misfits, who have been given an opportunity at higher education, yet none have done a lick of studying. Had they done their homework, dare I say research, they would understand that the methods and mantras of their protests are not appropriate. Thus, making these “protests” unpatriotic tantrums, which are also wildly unconstitutional.
Instead of doing their course work, or working part-time to pay for their own education, they are out chanting, what they believe to be, cute little chants, carrying signs, waving flags, and showing off their latest masking fashion trend.
In general, I am a First Amendment absolutist, which reads: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”[1]
There are two key components to focus on with regards to the First Amendment and the protests. First, the “free speech” aspect. Even hate speech, as abhorrent as it can be, is technically covered by the First Amendment. That said, it certainly does not make it right, and consequences are still a likelihood, like, possibly an ass-kicking. Each citizen has the right to free speech, but it does not give you the right to threaten violence, or impinge on someone else’s Constitutional rights.
Second, is the “right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” You got a beef with the government, you have the right to be heard, but damn it, take it up with the right government. These feckless fusspots are clueless about the cause they profess to support.
Freedom of speech does not include chanting “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free,” "Intifada revolution,” “there is only one solution (Harvard)," or “Death to America (MI),” just to name a few. This type of rhetoric is not protected under the First Amendment, because they are calls to violence. These phrases are essentially the cries of Hamas, Hezbollah, and other terror groups determined to destroy Israel and the Jewish people.
“From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free,” This is a cry for Israel to not exist. It is calling for a Palestinian state that extends from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea – effectively erasing and destroying the entire Jewish state.[2]
“Globalize the intifada!”or "Intifada revolution, there is only one solution” The chant is a reference to violent Palestinian uprisings against Israel, specifically acts of terrorism and indiscriminate violence against civilians by terrorist groups.[3]
Some of these campus clowns were even yelling, “We are Hamas!” Really? WTF!? That right there, should earn them a ticket straight to Guantanamo Bay (GITMO), because that is where the United States holds suspected terrorists. By shouting, “We are Hamas!” these clueless clans of cretinism are literally proclaiming they belong to a terrorist organization. (breathe)
This is the type of information that these moronic, crybaby, protesters don’t have, or refuse to hear, because it would interfere with their “15 minutes of fame.” Fame they will not likely get, because they are too damn stupid to remove their facemasks, allegedly, over fear that a COVID droplet will get through the 7-layers of booster shots they have received.
Now, when the media tries to interview them, they have been instructed to give the line, “I’m not media trained.” Duh, most people who participate in on-the-street interviews, are not media trained. Wait. These loudmouths want to exercise their right of free speech, and then refuse to speak when given the opportunity? This is just next-level dumb-assery!
I am totally convinced that these jack-wagons aren’t totally up to speed on the whole First Amendment thing. First, there is the speech that threatens violence, then, it’s clear that they do not understand the part about the right to “peaceably assemble.”
To clarify, peaceable, is to act in a calm, nonviolent way. It does not include making encampments, taking over buildings, or disrupting campus activities. Stick to holding your breath and stomping your feet, because you suck at “peaceable.” (breathe)
At Columbia, protesters were breaking windows, trespassing, starting fires, and involved in possible kidnappings. They even unveiled a two-story “Intifada” flag, remember intifada means uprisings and violent terrorism against Israel. At Stanford University, protesters sported Hamas headbands, along with their N-95 masks and Hamas-inspired costumes.
At Princeton, protesters flew the Hezbolla flag over campus. Yep. They actually flew the flag of a terrorist organization on the grounds of an American university. Protesters at Harvard ripped down the U.S. flag and replaced it with a Palestinian flag.
Again, this is America. Look, if you seriously want to fly the Palestinian flag, I will start a “Go-Fund-Me” page to raise the money to fly you ungrateful pricks to Palestine. I’m sure Hamas will put you up in a nice AirB&B.
Protesters at George Washington University called for the “Final Solution” and posted signs for Jews to “go back to their real homes.” If you’re not entirely sure what the “Final Solution” is, just Google Hitler. I’ll save you the time, “the final solution was a Nazi plan to eliminate Europe's Jewish population.” Peaceably, no doubt.
Police blotters and media reports have proven that students are not the only “protesters” on these campuses. Outside agitators have infiltrated these protests with the purpose of escalating tensions and promoting a more violent, riotous atmosphere. Mission accomplished.
All this may sound scary, but given the go-ahead, and the right rules of engagement, I believe a troop of well-trained Girl Scouts could go in and break up these protests and torch the encampments. Give them a chance. Televise it. I’ll watch.
Apparently, these protesters have set some demands. You know, like terrorists do. The list includes airsoft goggles, knee and elbow pads, utility gloves - without reinforced knuckles – bright flashlights with strobe, rope, zip ties, skater helmets, shields, wood to construct a barrier and non-steroid inhalers. Also needed is "hot food for lunch" and gluten-free food. However, packaged foods, coffee, bagels, bananas and nuts are specifically not wanted.[4] Is that all? C’mon, there has to be more.
The list of needs goes on to request sleeping pads, various types of batteries, electric and solar-powered generators, and Aquaphor. Sunscreen is not desired, according to the list.[5] And finally, at the University of Chicago encampment, they are requesting HIV tests, dental dams, and Plan B. Really? What the hell are these freaks doing in these encampments? Apparently, anarchy is an aphrodisiac. (breathe)
These aren’t demands. These are punchlines, because it’s laughable that you want all this shit and your entitled asses actually expect to get it. We are not your parents. We are not here to enable your idiocy. How ‘bout we give you a truckload of bagels and a tanker of arak.
If that won’t suffice, you can go to the Starbucks down the street and get your own shit. As I used to say when I was a waiter, “Sorry, not my table.”
So, I guess the goal of these protesters is, “free, free, free Palestine.” And, oh by the way, give me some other shit too. The only thing you have earned is the consequence of being arrested. For punishment, you can to go to the tree in the back yard, grab your own “switch,” then march your ass back inside to receive the spanking you so rightly deserve.
Message to the protesters. Take your fricken protests to the government who is actually oppressing the people of Palestine. We have no control over the people of Palestine, or their plight, or their government. We’re too busy funneling taxpayer dollars to Ukraine, and syphoning in illegals across our southern border. Hamas is the terroristic government oppressing these Palestinian pals of yours. I’m sure they’d be receptive to hearing your grievances.
If you want to play dress-up, like a 4-year-old, and spew stupidity, do it at your Frat house. Don’t build encampments and impede on the rights of other students, students who are paying for an education and trying to attend classes. Speaking of which, how are your finals going?
My guess is that, at least half of you, should fold up your tents, put away your signs, take off your costumes, and get back to class. The police should be arresting you all for trespassing, vandalism, violating noise ordinance, and just on appearances alone, public indecency.
Finally, TAKE OFF YOUR F#CKING MASKS! It’s 2024! You’ve had the vaccine cocktail with 7 booster chasers! There’s a good chance those boosters have slowed your cognitive development. You anal anarchists need to shut up and go back to your land of misfits and learn to cope with reality. Simply put, us “normals” are sick of your childish, whiny, petty, moronic bullshit! Too harsh? Too bad. (exhale)
*Rant likely to be continued in next “Letter to Joe.” Yea, he’s got some explaining to do.
[1] https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/amendment-1/
[2] https://www.adl.org/resources/blog/stop-and-think-anti-israel-chants-and-what-they-mean
[3] https://www.adl.org/resources/blog/stop-and-think-anti-israel-chants-and-what-they-mean
[4] https://nypost.com/2024/05/01/us-news/anti-israel-ucla-protesters-request-donations-after-violent-clash/
[5] https://nypost.com/2024/05/01/us-news/anti-israel-ucla-protesters-request-donations-after-violent-clash/